starchilde_lost: (comic: whos bright idea was this)
[February 29, 2012]

Leap Year. With everything else, she'd somehow missed that it was a leap year and now she felt... slighted. This really wasn't her month and she was just to the point of waiting it out. Deciding that she wanted to date was one thing, actually doing it was another. She knew she was going about it the wrong way, that looking at every guy she came across while checking off a mental checklist of eligibility was not the way to pick out a guy. But then, she has never done this before. Ever.

Falling in love with Franklin had been as easy as breathing, they had known each other for so long that being in love was just.. natural. It fit. With Korvus, she'd gotten a massive push from the Phoenix Force, an instant connection that made her feel closer to him than she had anyone else in ages, once she stopped fighting it, that was. But she'd made peace with the idea that none of them were coming here and she wasn't going home anytime soon, so... she had to stop pretending it was all transient, try and make a go of it on the island, and - she didn't want to do it alone.

She was tired of being alone. Of seeing everyone else pairing off. Okay, so she'd seen quite a few of them end up with broken hearts, but for a little while, those people looked really happy. Rachel desperately wanted to be happy. Even if it was just for a little while.

But she was 0 and I-don't-want-to-think-about-it in the dating department so she just wanted the month to end. New month, new chances. In the meantime, she'd just park herself at the bar in the Hub, have a few drinks, and start wondering if the bookcase would give her dating advice books in the morning.
starchilde_lost: (comic: marked for death)
[August 30th, 2011]

She'd been spending a lot of time at the waterfall lately. The rave was over, but Rachel could still feel the tremble of the bass under her skin. The hangover was past, but she could still feel the pain of guilt and confusion. She had just wanted to have some fun, let loose for a night and now she was starting to think that she'd ruined one of her closest friendships here on the island.

Not to mention opened herself up to an entirely new avenue of sexuality she'd never considered before.

But at the heart, she thought the sexuality thing wasn't even the important part. Well it was important, but she knew eventually it would take care of itself. She'd just never thought of it before, was all and was trying not to think about it now. The really important part was that she was pretty sure her best friend would never speak to her again and that hurt Rachel more than she wanted to admit. So Gabrielle maybe had a little crush on her? So had Alistaire Stuart, and they'd managed to stay friends, but lately Gabby wasn't even talking to her and that made things worse. She couldn't repair, or work on, or even talk about their friendship if Gabby wouldn't even see her.

Standing on the edge of the cliff and looking down, Rachel wondered if things really had been simpler back home. Kill Gabriel. Kill the bastards that had killed her family. Sleep with Korvus, who loved her and she... she loved him. At least she was pretty sure she did. The longer she was here, the more she started to doubt that. And did that mean she'd taken advantage of him? Had she taken advantage of Gabby? She didn't want to think that she had. she didn't want to admit that her loneliness combined with the alcohol and drugs and... she'd just gone too far.

But if she couldn't talk to Gabby... she couldn't work it out. God, was there anything Rachel could do right? She looked down at the rolling water and debated with herself before deciding that ultimately, she couldn't make a decision today. If Gabby wouldn't talk to her, she couldn't make amends. And she wasn't home so she couldn't sort things out with Korvus. All she had was today and a deep pool of water just begging to be dove into. Which is what she did, diving with almost perfect accuracy to the center of the pool, trusting that it was deep enough for the dive.

It was, but as Rachel surfaced she realized that diving from such heights had it's disadvantages. Like stripping the tops of bikinis off one's body. Looking around, Rachel tried to see where her top had gone, or if she was going to end up rushing home with her hands as her only modesty.


starchilde_lost: (Default)
Rachel Grey

June 2014

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