"I'm sorry Aidan, I just..." She faltered, shaking her head. It was so hard to explain and she knew he understood loss, but he had this well of hope and enthusiasm she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to match. She'd been beaten down so many times and she kept getting up, but it was harder and harder every time.

Reaching for the tissues she blew her nose, still struggling for the words. "Family isn't something I can just... do."