starchilde_lost: (Default)
Rachel had decided that she was just going to do it. She was going to officially ask Aidan to move in with her. After all, they'd been together for a long time, well, by her standards at least, Aidan might have had longer relationships but it wasn't fair as he was a couple of centuries old and the scales were different. And they practically lived together anyways, she couldn't really remember the last time she'd spent a night alone.

Well, except last night. But a stopover in the clinic didn't count.

Smoothing the skirt of her sundress down, she took a deep breath before entering the clinic with the bunch of flowers she'd picked up and a few books and magazines. You know, normal visiting the boyfriend in the hospital things. She tried to put everything else out of her head. She'd get to it, she knew, but she wanted to focus on her injured boyfriend for a little while before she emotionally went off the rails.

Did normal people have this much trouble trying to figure out their relationships? People who hadn't dated aliens, seen the loves of their lives killed by mutant-hunting robots. People who hadn't done and seen the things she'd done. Or was it just her particular quirk of inherited emotional issues and her own paranoia. Did she even have the right to ask him, because she knew she didn't want to get married and have kids, not here on the island, and was that even fair to him to go so far and just draw a line in the sand? Or was she just leaving herself and him an escape hatch if it gets to be too much?

Those were the thoughts she was trying not to dwell on as she walked over to the bed. "Hey, punching bag, how are you feeling today?"


Aug. 16th, 2013 08:54 pm
starchilde_lost: (pb: im smug but im cute)

Rachel's mailbox. No bombs, please.
starchilde_lost: (Pensive Research)
Hey, what are friends for if they can't kick your ass and tell you you're an idiot once in awhile.

Consider this the concrit post for Rachel Summers Grey.

Hit me with your best shot - comments are screened, and will only be unscreened with the author's permission.
starchilde_lost: (Default)
Please sign if you're so inclined.
starchilde_lost: (comic: oh jeepers shucky darn)
[Dated March 31st, 2012]

She wanted this to go smoothly. She wanted this to go smoothly so badly, it was almost making her nauseous as she finished setting the table and setting out the last of the food. Some of it she'd made, some of it she'd bribed members of the kitchen crew to make for her, but all of it was hopefully something someone would like. And hopefully none of it would end up on someone's face.

Because she really didn't know.

She'd never really done anything like this before. Sure, there were family-style dinners at the mansion and with her grandparents while she was with them, but nothing like that existed here. She had no idea how this group of people that meant so much to her would get along with each other. She knew they'd all try, for her sake, and bless them for it, but she had a habit of making friends and family out of very opinionated and stubborn people and once the wine and beers were opened, who knew what would happen.

So she just said a prayer and hoped for the best as she got up to fiddle with her hair again.

[Post is gathering-style, put up a top-level if you want one or pop into someone else's thread. you can specify the time of the thread, or just leave it open.]


Mar. 22nd, 2013 11:02 pm
starchilde_lost: (comic: made of win)
Valentine's day had almost been a disaster. And since then, Rachel had been trying to come up with some plan to make things up to Aidan. He didn't expect it and she knew he wasn't harboring any deep-seated resentments about it, but she just wanted to do something nice for him. Because she was his girlfriend and could. So she figured a nice candle-lit dinner for just the two of them would be a nice way to start.

It was when she found the outfit backstage at the club that things started to get interesting.

With devious glee she put an invitation that would lead him on a scavenger hunt to a variety of locations. In the boutique, she left him a suit that he could wear, at the Hub was waiting a bottle of wine, at the waterfall was a basket of desserts (with all of his favorites) and as he made his way to her hut, she sprinkled the path with some flowers.

Inside the hut, Rachel waited patiently, her small home lit entirely by candlelight and some jazz playing on her iPod. Dinner was on the table and if she'd timed it perfectly, it wouldn't be cold in the least when he followed her last instruction. Come inside and claim your prize.
starchilde_lost: (Default)
001.Fast 002.Slow 003.Drink 004.Dark 005.Light
006.Sleep 007.Awake 008.Scent 009.Glass 010.Reflection
011.Food 012.Cold 013.Hot 014.Now 015.Never
016.Fear 017.Laughter 018.Naked 019.Shop 020.Music
021.Alone 022.Crowded 023.New 024.Old 025.Game
026.Run 027.Stay 028.Try 029.Want 030.Sold
031.Bruise 032.Technology 033.Connection 034.Pain 035.Celebrate
036.Discover 037.Gold 038.Silver 039.Slip 040.Luck
041.Cage 042.Scars 043.Last 044.Holiday 045.Strong
046.Water 047.Love 048.Beauty 049.Air 050.Normal
051.Death 052.Lost 053.Found 054.Animal 055.Smile
056.Learn 057.Work 058.Dream 059.Hunt 060.Fire
061.Cook 062.Wait 063.Fight 064.Reconcile 065.Paint
066.Money 067.Desire 068.Wooden 069.Kiss 070.Power
071.Phone 072.Time 073.Sight 074.Color 075.Stage
076.Apology 077.Help 078.Radio 079.Allergy 080.Photos
081.Family 082.Friends 083.Peace 084.War 085.Parent
086.Junk 087.Hobby 088.Art 089.Sex 090.Jewelry
091.Trap 092.Sun 093.Moon 094.Rain 095.Travel
096.Writer's Choice 097.Writer's Choice 098.Writer's Choice 099.Writer's Choice 100.Writer's Choice
starchilde_lost: (comic: down but not out)
Rachel didn't think she'd ever been so happy to have the flu in her life. Because it was the flu, hitting her hard after a week - almost two - of teasing with exhaustion and intermittent nausea, worrying enough to have her heading out to a drugstore for a pregnancy test. A test that had failed spectacularly, according to the test she'd had done later at the clinic which told her, definitively, that she was not pregnant. Nope, not in the least, despite the evil colored stick she'd ended up with at home. If there were an actual manufacturer she could sue for emotional stress, she might have done it, even in this ghost version of New York. False positive her ass, more like false nightmare-inducing panic attack.

But here she was, a couple days later, curled up on her couch with a heating pad, a mug of chamomile-ginger-something tea, and a remote control, flipping across TV channels while working her way through a third box of Kleenex. The apartment was a mess, there were take-out boxes everywhere, her entire body felt like it was in revolt, but for the moment, she was glad for it.

Because there was no way in hell she was ready to have that conversation with her boyfriend. Not now, and not ever.
starchilde_lost: (comic: down but not out)
Rachel just didn't want to think about Halloween. Ever. Again. Just the image of all those bodies, all her friends, her family, in a pile in the jungle gave her chills. She'd seen massacres before and had never wanted to again and yet there she was, smelling the blood soaking into the ground, hearing the buzz of flies drawn by the blood. The rest of it, too, was something she never wanted to see, but the island had different ideas and now that was an image that was actually keeping her up at night.

She should be sleeping, but her body ached from the fight with Logan and she was still far too wired after having to babysit him and watch Charles get carted off to the clinic. She was actually a little surprised Logan hadn't broken free at some point and gutted her, he'd certainly tried, and while the adrenalin had long ago left her, she was stuck staring at the ceiling after she got home. For hours. Punctuated only by brief sleeping interludes that ended with her jerking awake, trying not to scream. Somewhere around dawn she managed to drift off for good, tossing and turning, but finally getting some shut-eye.

Which had been her mistake. She should have just stayed up.

They'd both been worried about Halloween, but Rachel and Aidan both knew they'd be more useful split up for the day. Rachel could check on her friends, fight if needed, Aidan could pitch in at the Clinic. They'd agreed on a place and a time to meet the next day so that they'd know the other was okay. At least that had been the plan. A plan that was completely screwed now that Rachel had pretty much slept through the meeting. Running out of her door, she knew that even if she ran the whole way flat-out, she was going to be hopelessly late.

She had to hope Aidan would stick around and not panic. Seriously, she was going to hunt Stark down and make him build a damn phone system for the island if it was the last thing she did.
starchilde_lost: (comic: askani as if)
Rachel was irritated. She knew it was for the most ridiculous reason, but knowing didn't change it as she left the Catscratch. It was late she guessed, but the club hadn't closed yet so she figured it wasn't too late to go see the guy she was irritated with. Not that she was irritated AT him, exactly, more irritated about him, but regardless, after a few drinks, this was the move that somehow made the most sense.

She thought she might regret it later. But what the hell.

After a little while she had to stop to slide the heels she'd been wearing off her feet. They looked great, but weren't made for walking distances and she was unsteady enough as it was. Still the walk was enough to sober her up (a little) and drive her irritation deeper.

How dare he complicate her life like this? Really.

Finding the window that was closest to his room (she was assuming he was in and in bed... she hoped) she reached up to knock on it with her show. And in sheer brilliance, she called out, probably not as softly as she should have been, "Aidan! See, I'm knocking! KNOCKING! Not breaking in, KNOCKING! Let me in!"


Jul. 2nd, 2012 12:18 am
starchilde_lost: (comic: nope not impressed)
Rachel's school schedule was light enough this semester that she was able to spend a lot of downtime just... relaxing. She'd laid in a good supply of books that she actually read on occasion, she took relaxing walks - a neat contrast to the way she used to run herself to exhaustion just so she wouldn't dream. In fact, she's just gotten back from one such walk and was feeding her quetzals, humming a wordless tune as she went about the chore. All in all, she felt more at peace with herself than she had in a long time.

And she really wasn't in a hurry to examine why that was, either. She knew part of it was from that shared dream she'd had with Nathan and the others. That world that she'd actually hoped was a world in which she'd managed to rid herself, and it, of a demon worth killing. She was disappointed it hadn't been real, but in the end she hadn't been surprised. At least she'd gotten to meet her brother's wife and son, even if they were the ones in his memories, it was more than she could ever hope for back home.

And she knew the other part of it was the guy she'd woken up to. The one with the dark eyes and dark past who still managed to smile and make her smile, too. The one she was sharing her bed with, gladly, who might want to share more. That was what she really didn't want to look at. Not closely. It wasn't that she didn't want... well, she didn't know what she wanted. It was just, after everything, it was just good to be with someone. No expectations. No worries.
starchilde_lost: (comic: trying to sleep)
Her sleep was, unsurprisingly, filled with nightmares and anxiety. The kinds of dreams she hadn't had in months where family accused her of letting them die and scores of enemies waited in the shadows to tear what little happiness she had apart. She ran through cemeteries and camps and ruined school halls and all the while she knew there was no hope, there was nothing she could do. She would awake, disoriented, crying and afraid and the only thing that kept her grounded was the feel of warm arms around her.

Aidan didn't leave. Every time she woke up he was there, even if she was pretty sure he was asleep, he was still there. And not once did she wake up thinking he was anyone else. It surprised the hell out of her, she thought at least once she'd think she was back on the Jammer with Korvus, but nope, she always knew it was him. She was glad for it, too even if she didn't want to think about why that was too much.

Eventually, she gave up on sleep, lying awake and watching the sun spill through the windows. At some point she'd need to get up, take a shower, eat something, but right now she just snuggled back against the warm body in her bed, glad it was there. Glad he was there.
starchilde_lost: (comic: whos bright idea was this)
[February 29, 2012]

Leap Year. With everything else, she'd somehow missed that it was a leap year and now she felt... slighted. This really wasn't her month and she was just to the point of waiting it out. Deciding that she wanted to date was one thing, actually doing it was another. She knew she was going about it the wrong way, that looking at every guy she came across while checking off a mental checklist of eligibility was not the way to pick out a guy. But then, she has never done this before. Ever.

Falling in love with Franklin had been as easy as breathing, they had known each other for so long that being in love was just.. natural. It fit. With Korvus, she'd gotten a massive push from the Phoenix Force, an instant connection that made her feel closer to him than she had anyone else in ages, once she stopped fighting it, that was. But she'd made peace with the idea that none of them were coming here and she wasn't going home anytime soon, so... she had to stop pretending it was all transient, try and make a go of it on the island, and - she didn't want to do it alone.

She was tired of being alone. Of seeing everyone else pairing off. Okay, so she'd seen quite a few of them end up with broken hearts, but for a little while, those people looked really happy. Rachel desperately wanted to be happy. Even if it was just for a little while.

But she was 0 and I-don't-want-to-think-about-it in the dating department so she just wanted the month to end. New month, new chances. In the meantime, she'd just park herself at the bar in the Hub, have a few drinks, and start wondering if the bookcase would give her dating advice books in the morning.
starchilde_lost: (pb: that hit hurt)
[February 15th, 2012]

The sun was too bright. That was Rachel's first thought as she blinked her eyes. Second was the thought that there was way too much sand in her bed, followed quickly by the realization that she wasn't in her bed which was enough to make her sit bolt-upright and her heart beat. Two things which did nothing for the headache she suddenly discovered.

Moving to cover her eyes against the sun, she groaned, trying to remember where she was and what had happened the night before. She was coming up blank. It was like someone had erased the memories and that wasn't supposed to be possible on an island where everyone had no powers. Cracking her eyes a little, she tried to look around. Sand. Shells.

Ruby slippers?

On her feet were ruby slippers and as she looked further at herself she realized she was wearing the whole get-up. Gingham dress, apron, petticoats, she was freaking Dorothy Gale. What the hell happened to her last night?

"Oh, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore." With another groan she closed her eyes and laid back down. Why did the sun have to be so bright?"
starchilde_lost: (pb: what was that)
Enough was enough. First, Gabrielle was avoiding her. Then Rachel convinced herself that she didn't want to see Gabby and at some point, avoiding each other had just become habit. Rachel cared too much about her friendship with Gabrielle to let it stay that way. She couldn't let herself lose another friendship. Not because of her own stupid actions on a stupid, drunken, night. She just couldn't.

Rachel fought for her friends.

It took awhile to figure out, but eventually, Rachel decided to just camp out at the statue of Hera whenever she had spare time. She knew Gabby frequented it, sooner or later she'd turn up. So it was on a fairly regular basis that Rachel found herself, with school books or jewelry projects or whatever she pulled off the bookshelf to keep herself occupied. Sometimes, she even did her work-outs there. She almost always had food and she always stayed as long as she possibly could. Sooner or later, Gabrielle would come, this was her place, she talked about it a lot. She would come.

And maybe then Rachel could finally apologize.
starchilde_lost: (comic: marked for death)
[August 30th, 2011]

She'd been spending a lot of time at the waterfall lately. The rave was over, but Rachel could still feel the tremble of the bass under her skin. The hangover was past, but she could still feel the pain of guilt and confusion. She had just wanted to have some fun, let loose for a night and now she was starting to think that she'd ruined one of her closest friendships here on the island.

Not to mention opened herself up to an entirely new avenue of sexuality she'd never considered before.

But at the heart, she thought the sexuality thing wasn't even the important part. Well it was important, but she knew eventually it would take care of itself. She'd just never thought of it before, was all and was trying not to think about it now. The really important part was that she was pretty sure her best friend would never speak to her again and that hurt Rachel more than she wanted to admit. So Gabrielle maybe had a little crush on her? So had Alistaire Stuart, and they'd managed to stay friends, but lately Gabby wasn't even talking to her and that made things worse. She couldn't repair, or work on, or even talk about their friendship if Gabby wouldn't even see her.

Standing on the edge of the cliff and looking down, Rachel wondered if things really had been simpler back home. Kill Gabriel. Kill the bastards that had killed her family. Sleep with Korvus, who loved her and she... she loved him. At least she was pretty sure she did. The longer she was here, the more she started to doubt that. And did that mean she'd taken advantage of him? Had she taken advantage of Gabby? She didn't want to think that she had. she didn't want to admit that her loneliness combined with the alcohol and drugs and... she'd just gone too far.

But if she couldn't talk to Gabby... she couldn't work it out. God, was there anything Rachel could do right? She looked down at the rolling water and debated with herself before deciding that ultimately, she couldn't make a decision today. If Gabby wouldn't talk to her, she couldn't make amends. And she wasn't home so she couldn't sort things out with Korvus. All she had was today and a deep pool of water just begging to be dove into. Which is what she did, diving with almost perfect accuracy to the center of the pool, trusting that it was deep enough for the dive.

It was, but as Rachel surfaced she realized that diving from such heights had it's disadvantages. Like stripping the tops of bikinis off one's body. Looking around, Rachel tried to see where her top had gone, or if she was going to end up rushing home with her hands as her only modesty.
starchilde_lost: (comic: down but not out)
[August 1, 2011]

Rachel needed help. She wasn't an idiot and she knew when she was spiraling downward and if she'd been smart she would have done this much sooner, like after Jean left and the nightmares started. Or after her brother brought her back to civilization. Or after her first trip to Rapture when she realized how good if felt to jack herself up with artificial powers and go kill things. Things that used to be people. Okay, granted, she didn't actively hunt the splicers just to kill them, but she sure as hell made herself a convenient target on more than one occasion and in the end, wasn't that the same thing?

And then there was the little girl. The proverbial punch in the gut that let her know she'd gone way, way too far.

So once she'd slept for about two days straight and made a few discrete-ish inquiries and now she was here, scared to death she was losing her mind by pieces, and hoping that Dr. Will Zimmerman was half the psychiatrist Dr. Maureen Lysinski had been.

...or at the very least doesn't run away screaming after she gives him her background - hell, if she could just get through explaining the Hound marks on her face and the phoenix-shaped death mark on her back without him bailing, she'd take that as a good sign.

Standing in the hall, Rachel almost turned around at the door, telling herself she could come back later, maybe after she got more sleep and reduced the circles under her eyes, after the bruises and cuts on her arms from the fighting down in Rapture had healed. But ultimately, she knew that was a cheat, if she didn't do it now she never would. She stood in the doorway and tapped a couple of times, clearing her suddenly-dry throat. "Dr. Zimmerman, right? Do you have a few minutes?"
starchilde_lost: (pb: that hit hurt)
[July 28, 2011]

She's lost count of the days since the subs, those bathysphere-things, shut down and trapped everyone down here. Aside from the increasingly fragile feeling of the walls around, above and below her, she thought she was doing pretty good. She's kept moving, managed to find food, and been... around the other groups trapped below. She's also aware that there's something massive going on, but unless or until people start screaming for help, she has other things on her mind.

Namely, the splicer she's been following.

She starts moving almost as soon as little hands appear at the vent's opening, but she's not quite fast enough and the splicer dives, reaching for the girl's wrist. The girl's scream echoes off the metal and glass walls and Rachel's in action before she can think, pulling the shotgun over her shoulder, knowing that if she doesn't get the splicer away... something else will. )
starchilde_lost: (comic: meh whatever)
She's not there to apologize. At least that's what she tells herself the entire time she's walking to his hut, arm aching where the she'd been cut and not looking forward to the visit at all. But she needed a doctor to look at her arm and she didn't feel like she could set foot in the clinic yet. And she had to admit, she wanted him to know that she was back. She figured he might have been worried.

But she's not going to apologize. If anything he should, for what he said, for acting like she was crazy to hold onto any hope, any hope at all that her mother was still there. He'd been an asshole and a jerk and she got pissed off all over again just thinking about it.

Kicking a stone off the boardwalk she takes a deep breath to try and calm herself. Emotionally, she's still on a roller-coaster, not knowing from one moment to another how she's going to feel or how it's going to affect her and she knows that's a bad way to be when visiting people, but she doesn't feel like she has a choice.

Her arm hurts and she's not going to apologize.

But when she knocks on his door, there's no one there. Walking around, she tries to look inside, calling his name before remembering - there was some shindig tonight, some casino something or other that she'd seen posters for before... before her little vacation. Figures. Sitting on the front step, she waits, knowing he has to come back sooner or later.
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