22 * Papa was a rolling stone

[starchilde_lost]

Figures, everyone gets visited by their dads and mine's MIA. Is it because we were actually getting along when I left?

Question - anyone know how to sleep without having dreams? Please leave your Freddy Krueger jokes at the door, I'm kinda serious about this.

Also, I know some of you were asking about psychiatrists earlier - have you found any?

[Filtered to Lux Management/Visible to Kirk]

The broken table and chair out back are my fault. I can replace them out of my next paycheck.
Sorry.

Also, I'm taking some time off, personal reasons. Kirk's offered to cover my shifts.

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Kirk/Unhackable]

How's your back today?

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Kitty/Unhackable]

Today sucks for you, I know. Need anything?

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Friends/Unhackable]

For those of you who don't know, while I was home all my family on my mother's side was massacred by a Shi'ar death squad. My brother and I are the only Grey's left anywhere. A little while after that, my other grandfather was killed by my uncle Gabriel. Alex and I were trying to stop Gabriel when we found my family's killers... and then had to let them go.

When I was pulled back here, I was mid-retreat from a battle with the Shi'ar. Alex, Lorna, and the other Starjammers have been captured and so far as I know when I go back they'll be executed because Gabriel's starting to make D'Ken look like the nice guy in the Shi'ar Psycho-Emperor sweepstakes.

Why am I telling you all this? I'm not dealing with it well and I know it. I'm frustrated that I'm stuck here where I can't do anything. I'm scared that can't help Alex and I can't loose anymore family. I'm furious that I can't go after the bastards that killed my family, and I feel like everything is falling apart just like it did in the timeline I came from. I feel like I'm failing and I've been taking it out on some of you.

I'm taking some time off work, about a week. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm hoping by then I'll have some things worked out. I just know I can't do what I've been doing anymore and not fall apart completely.

Thank you for worrying about me, and I'm sorry if I've snapped at anyone.

[/Filter]

[OOC: Um, sorry for the tl;dr, but Rachel hit the breaking point and is willing to admit she needs help. It's fallout from this encounter. Also, all hackable filters will be re-set to unhackable sometime tomorrow later today, but if you want to assume you hacked it before they were shored up, feel free. FYI - friends include anyone Rachel's talked to more than once without trying to kill or something - it's hackable so it doesn't really matter, does it?]