starchilde_lost | in the stillness of remembering what you had and what you lost [Aidan]

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aidan

in the stillness of remembering what you had and what you lost [Aidan]

Her sleep was, unsurprisingly, filled with nightmares and anxiety. The kinds of dreams she hadn't had in months where family accused her of letting them die and scores of enemies waited in the shadows to tear what little happiness she had apart. She ran through cemeteries and camps and ruined school halls and all the while she knew there was no hope, there was nothing she could do. She would awake, disoriented, crying and afraid and the only thing that kept her grounded was the feel of warm arms around her.

Aidan didn't leave. Every time she woke up he was there, even if she was pretty sure he was asleep, he was still there. And not once did she wake up thinking he was anyone else. It surprised the hell out of her, she thought at least once she'd think she was back on the Jammer with Korvus, but nope, she always knew it was him. She was glad for it, too even if she didn't want to think about why that was too much.

Eventually, she gave up on sleep, lying awake and watching the sun spill through the windows. At some point she'd need to get up, take a shower, eat something, but right now she just snuggled back against the warm body in her bed, glad it was there. Glad he was there.

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For a moment there was a catch in his movements as she began stroking him, temporarily distracted by how good it felt. He shifted a bit so that she could get his boxers off and remove any further interference between their bodies.

"I need you," he said between kisses, as if that wasn't already obvious to her. Aidan wanted her to hear it though, so that she knew this wasn't just some offer to help her feel better or that it was even remotely one sided on her end.

"Me, too." She slid her own underwear off, kissing him hard as she pressed herself against him. She needed him, in ways she was only beginning to understand and right now, this was the only way she could think to show it. "Need you to take me." She went back to stroking him, wanting to drive him wild, knowing it would be that much hotter if they lost control.

That request was one that he was more than happy to comply with. She already had him badly wanting her and on the edge of taking what he wanted but with her saying it like that as she stroked him, it was impossible to resist.

Turning quickly, he rolled her onto her back and pinned her hands loosely above her head. Aidan kissed her hard and ground his hips down against her in a demonstration of just how bad he wanted her.

There it was, that edge she wanted him on, the one he'd pushed her over before. She'd had sex on the island with someone else, good sex, great sex, but it hadn't felt like this, it hadn't made everything in the room brighter or sharper. Each touch hadn't made her desperate for the next and the next.

Rachel arched beneath his touch, feeling both free and restrained. She could feel him, hard and ready between her legs and she moved back against him, almost whimpering as she gasped out, "Condoms. In the nightstand."

"Fuck, right," Aidan growled, frustrated at himself for forgetting that in the heat of the moment. He let out a laugh though to show her that it wasn't her he was upset with and gave her a quick kiss.

"You make me absolutely lose my mind, you know that?" he asked as he pulled away enough to get one of the condoms and tear it open.

"Think the feeling's mutual." Rachel ran her hands over his back, loving the feel of his muscles as he moved. He was, easily, one of the sexiest men she'd met on the island and she was glad she had him in her bed. And her life. Not that she was thinking about that as she waited for him to get back to her.

She sat up a little so she could keep her hands on him, leaning to nip at his collarbone, hard enough to leave a mark this time. Something she would hopefully see again soon and remember this.

Aidan growled at her touch, enjoying how they traveled almost lazily over his body, like she was enjoying every inch of him. The nip caused him to hiss in surprise, but he liked it. It felt hard enough that it would leave some sort of mark, which he liked. There was something hot about your lover wanting to leave their mark on you.

Slipping the condom on, Aidan turned around and pushed her back into the bed again, grinning at her as he kissed and nibbled at her neck, giving her a matching mark.

"Now, where were we?"

She laughed a little at the payback, letting him push her back into the mattress, enjoying the strength he had and the weight of him. She laughed at everything, at them, at her grief, at her life it was all surreal. But right now there was him and there was this and she captured his lips in a hungry kiss as stretched out her lean body against his as she replied, "I think we were somewhere around here."

They were, whatever they were, lovers friends, two people who liked a good romp in the sack.

"I think so," he said, grinning against her mouth before kissing her again, lips crushing hers with need. Aidan wanted her to feel how much he wanted her, how right in that moment she was everything to him and all that he could think about.

As he kissed her, he lined himself up and with an almost agonizing slowness, began to push into her. As needy as he was Aidan didn't want to rush the moment, it was too incredible to not take the time to enjoy the feeling of her around him.

She was suddenly giddy and lightheaded, kissing him deeply as she ran her hands over his back, wrapping herself in the feel of him. She felt so much in the moment, she couldn't put it to words even if she were in the mood to.

"Aidan..." Her voice was low as she felt him sliding inside her, so slow as to be almost torture. She adjusted, taking him in and shifting her hips, moaning his name against his lips as she felt closer to him than she ever had, or maybe ever would.

Aidan held his breath until he was all the way in her, cock buried deep as his hips pressed against hers. He kissed her softly as he began to rock against her a bit, leaning forward to angle himself so that his length ground against her clit as he did so.

"You're absolutely beautiful," he gasped, lips placing hot, open mouthed kisses along her neck and up to her ear as he pressed against her.

It was better, so much better being with someone she'd already been with. They knew each other, knew what each other liked and she gasped into his ear, moaning low as she rocked against him. Her fingernails dug into his back as she felt the hot slide of his skin against hers.

Her body tingled and she felt her body tighten around him, pulling him deep inside her. "You make me wild, I can't... I want to do things with you." She wanted to do things to him, too, but that could wait.

"Tell me," Aidan said, his voice a growl as he rocked particularly hard against her. It was somewhere between a plead and a command, a testament to just how easily she could drive him to the edge of losing control and how hard he hung on.

"I want to hear all of it. Everything you want to do."

Her moans kicked up a notch when he thrust into her, arching against him with desire. He pulled something out of her she couldn't explain but she closed her eyes and started talking, voice dark with need, mentioning the rope from their date, testing the strength of the hut's walls, making love in the caves behind the waterfall, under the stars, things she couldn't even remember wanting before or after that moment. She wanted him, she wanted a connection she'd been missing since she arrived here.

"I want you, I want you..."

Each suggestion, each desire, was met with an enthusiastic "Yes!" on Aidan's part, accompanied by a faster, harder thrust. He loved hearing all that she was saying, secrets that she had likely kept from everyone except for him in this very moment. For a girl who had been relatively reserved about having sex their first time, she certainly had some pretty good ideas.

"All of it," he said, giving her again as he slammed into her over and over. "We'll do all of it. So much I want to do with you too..."

"Can't..." Words failed her, she couldn't reply if she had something to say, she was too lost in a haze of emotion and sensation. This meant something to her, more than the night they'd spent together almost half a year ago, more than whatever it was she had on Leap Day, and probably more than she was ready to admit. For someone who'd been wanting a relationship, now that she was faced with one, it scared her.

But all of that was a complicated mess that set in the back of her mind as her body took over, urging her to meet his thrusts with greater ferocity. The feel of him pushing and thrusting inside her promising oblivion and Rachel dug her hands into his back in a plea that matched her groans of "more," "please," and the prayer that was his name over and over again.

Aidan was more than glad to give her exactly what she was asking for, rocking into her again and again. He could feel his climax building, trying to hold it off as long as possible because he didn't want to lose this moment right here. Their bodies were in sync and there was no awkwardness between them, just a familiar comfortability that he wouldn't have thought possible.

"So... close..." he grunted as he thrust hard into her, burying himself deep inside her.

There was no fighting it even if she wanted to fight, but the feeling was carrying her away, hard pounding and sweaty skin and a million little shocks all combining to take her higher and higher. Better than any drug, better than any alcohol, and definitely better than crying into her pillow. Voice pitching higher Rachel gasped and moaned and her nails dug into Aidan's skin heedlessly, drawing soft lines over his back as she finally fell, crying out as her orgasm seized her and she let everything go to white with the blessed relief of it.

Aidan rode the orgasm with her, his own following not far behind as he rocked his body against her, driving her into the mattress.

Groaning, he could feel the pleasure surge through him, connecting them in a way that was unique to sex, as if for one moment they were almost one being. He kissed her hard as they rode out their mutual pleasure, Aidan finally collapsing on the bed next to her once he was spent.

Rachel gave a ragged breath as he pulled away, her body humming with energy in a post-orgasmic bliss. Chuckling, she ran a hand over Aidan's chest, tracing the edges of hard muscle. Yeah, she wasn't letting him get away this time, she really wanted to keep him around this time. "I seriously forgot how good that was. Why didn't we do it sooner?"

Aidan smiled and leaned in to give her a slow kiss. His heart was still pounding and his body was coming down from the high, but this lazy moment felt good. He could stand to relax here for a while with her.

"Maybe because if we had it wouldn't have been so good."

Reaching out, he brushed back a few strands of hair from her forehead.

"And it was... very good."

"And needed very badly." She kissed him again, luxuriating it the feel of a warm body next to hers. It was something that she already knew she'd want again, not just for the sex, but to have someone to hold her, distract her, cuddle with her. It sounded crazy, especially after her last few weeks of trying to find something casual, but she was starting to think she wanted a real boyfriend.

Not that she was admitting that right now or anything. This was good, what they had was fine, but someday, maybe...

"Then let's not let it go so long between this time," he suggested, kissing her back slowly. It was nice, these lingering kisses that were just for the pleasure of it and not as a pretense to anything else. These kisses were something that he hadn't realized he had so badly missed.

"I like that plan." And the distraction. And him. She had no idea what she was doing, but as she kissed him, she could feel the crawling voice of pain and loss itching at the back of her neck and she deepened the kiss again.

It was using him. Today, it was using him, later it wouldn't be. She hoped there would be a later at least, but right now, she desperately needed to loose herself as much as possible.

"You are... definitely working on cutting down that between time, aren't you?" Aidan asked, pressing into her again as he kissed her back just as deeply. Not that he had any complaints, but he wanted to be sure of where this was going.

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